Porn parodies, of course, are supposed to be funny. And sometimes the easiest way to be funny is to be inappropriate. Case in point: The ill-fated Ben & Jerry’s smut series. It might be a bad pun, but Boston Cream Thigh is still snicker-worthy — and the rest of the titles in the series even more so (I mean, Peanut Butter D-Cup, come on).
That said, some porn parodies really push the boundaries of inappropriateness. So much so that there should be a Rule 35 that essentially cancels out Rule 34 — maybe not everything that exists doesn’t need porn of it after all, especially childen’s entertainment and anything from FOX’s Animation Domination programming block. For instance…
You might know Bob Belcher as the down-on-his-luck burger connoisseur struggling to make ends meet, but this parody answers the question: What would Bob and wife Linda do if a porn convention rolled into town? Feed them, of course! “What kind of burgers would porn stars eat?” Ideas range from “Debbie Does Dill-is — with dill pickles” to a “fur burger,” but they settle on “Sheep Throat.” The storyline then takes a weird detour as they stumble upon their daughter’s “butt fan fiction” — a zombie-themed sex fantasy scheduled, of course, for her 18th birthday — before creating a porn scene of their own.
Look, all you need to know about this one is that “Pickle Rick” becomes the neon goo-green vibrator, “Pickle Dick.”
The high-tension trailer for Sugar Babes’ Squid Games porn parody answers a pretty straightforward question: What would it look like if the punishment for losing players was being fucked with a dildo, rather than immediate death? The recruitment process begins with a guy in a “Plainly Plain” hooded sweatshirt approaching a shivering young woman at a café table, who then tries — very poorly — to play hopscotch. Expect fake machine guns, terrible acting and a badly porn-ified human remake of that terrifying doll.
The actors in this porn parody really want you to know that the Rugrats are adults now, not babies — although Tommy has a case of adult baby syndrome, complete with diaper. Bratty Angelica rubs a Cynthia doll between her big naturals, Daddy Stu has boner pills and dumb Chuckie gets laid. Watch this to ruin your childhood memories.
This one is actually pretty genius. Misty becomes Fisty, and Pikachu becomes the truly terrifying Dikachu, a masterfully-crafted Strokémon complete with fleshy, rounded prosthetics and yellow paint everywhere. This isn’t the only Pokémon porn parody — there’s the gay porn classic Fuckemon Go, featuring an electrically-charged muscle bro in a Pikachu-yellow banana-hammock — but it’s arguably the most detailed, and therefore, the most disturbing.
“Are ye legally-aged adults ready to watch some porn?” Hell yeah! SpongeKnob SquareNuts is a masterpiece from the opening scene, the horny adult companion of everyone’s favorite burger-flipping sea sponge. A few things to know about SpongeKnob: He lives in a vibrator under the sea, and he’s desperate to make a sponge baby with Sandy Cheeks, who can apparently only breathe underwater with a dick in her mouth. It’s a truly cursed parody — only seek it out if you’re prepared to hear that nails-on-a-chalkboard giggle on repeat through a blow-job scene.
This porno remake of a goth classic features a distinctly emo Edward with prosthetic dicks for hands, rather than giant knives. Naturally, a door-to-door dildo saleswoman is charmed by his extra appendages; she brings him home to meet her daughter, and of course they fuck. This features two pretty big names in Sikki Nixx — from Deep Cheeks and The Goddaughter — and punk rock porn star Jeanna Fine, making this one of the better porn parodies out there. It’s also worth watching just for the funny visual of Edward trying to jerk himself off with dick hands — seemingly harder than you’d think.
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