And it sucks!


Have you ever been in the middle of a conversation and not known what to say next? Of course you have — that’s called “being a human,” and learning how to handle it is a normal part of life.


However, the freaks of Silicon Valley both a) aren’t normal, and b) believe that every form of interaction should be mediated by a form of technology. It’s the reason that Tim Cook seemingly really thought we’d be talking to each other wearing ski goggles with pictures of our eyes on them.


On that note, this is “Cluely,” which advertises itself as an A.I.-powered tool that allows users to “cheat” on everyday interactions. While the website appears to advertise the service as a tool that allows you to “cheat” on things like virtual meetings and sales calls (pretty sure misrepresenting yourself during a sales call could constitute fraud, but go off), the company is currently getting roasted for an ad it posted to X/Twitter about a potential use for its service: lying to women.



See, to the tech bros, everything is a transaction. A test, for example, isn’t something to access your engagement with a university course; it’s a challenge in the way of you getting a degree and landing a job at an SF tech firm, where you’ll do some of the most stepped-on cocaine of all time while convincing each other that you’re “changing the world” until your VC money runs out.


Similarly, to them, a date isn’t something that you do to get to know someone. A date is merely a series of riddles that women cruelly lay before men to see if they’re worthy enough to get into their pants. And, if you have to use ChatGPT to solve them, it’s all fair play!



I would like to say I’m angry about this, but really, I’m just ashamed. I’m ashamed that there are people out there who conceived this, who hired a film crew to create this, who spent hours painstakingly editing it, who posted it online — and people who watched this and thought that it was something worth actually implementing into their lives. If this is the world Silicon Valley wishes to create, it deserves the seawater that will eventually consume it.


Oh right, we’re doing comedy here. I meant, uh, ha ha?