If you were a man who had wet dreams in the Victorian era, you were fucked. Odds are good that if anyone found out, you’d be hauled in front of a pearl-clutching doctor, diagnosed with a condition known as “spermatorrhea” and prescribed a series of cures brutal enough to make even the most vigorous boner droop in fear.

Also known as “male hysteria,” the symptoms of spermatorrhea are actually pretty tame. In the journal article Body Doubles: The Spermatorrhea Panic scholar Ellen Bayuk Rosenman describes the condition as “the excessive discharge of sperm caused by illicit or excessive sexual activity, especially masturbation,” and that “the disease was understood to cause anxiety, nervousness, lassitude, impotence.” Doctors seriously believed that severe cases could drive you to the brink of insanity, or even kill you.

Rosenman cites a few case studies of guys diagnosed with spermatorrhea at the time: There’s a paranoid, aggro banker attacking random guys on the street, as well as a once-thriving medical student becoming reclusive and tearful, spending days in bed.

Whatever their stories, these guys were in for a nasty surprise at the doctor’s office. If you were lucky, you might get away with a prescription for laxatives, as if you could shit out the seeds of your depraved horniness. Some patients were decidedly less fortunate, however, subjected to cauterization — or burning someone’s dick to deaden the nerves and kill their sexual pleasure. A digitized 1851 case study describes a doctor cauterizing “the whole length of [the patient’s] urethra with a solid nitrate stick of silver. Considerable pain was experienced,” he notes, “and the end of the catheter was covered in blood.” Apparently, the treatment worked.

And then there were the “anti-masturbation devices” — torturous relics from an era obsessed with sexual purity. These weren’t just used in the U.K. either; in fact, a good chunk of the patents were submitted by abstinence acolytes in the U.S.

The most eye-watering devices usually involved sheathing a guy’s dick in some way, but all of them got unfortunately creative. Here’s a quick run-through of some of the worst…

Jugum Penis

Imagine a cock ring. Great. Now, imagine a steel, nickel-plated cock ring fitted with tiny, razor-sharp teeth, designed to rip the skin of your dick to shreds if you dared succumb to an erection. This is the Jugum Penis, a terrifying contraption designed to be closed with a screw or clip catch, to keep it tightly fastened. They’re made to be worn at night, too — any morning wood would result in the sharp teeth clamping down on your junk. Probably not the best for a good night’s sleep, especially considering the average guy gets between three and five nocturnal erections per night.

Bowen Device

In 1889, Philadelphia resident James Bowen submitted a patent for what looks decidedly like an early cock cage. Basically, you sheath your dick in a cap that connects to a series of clasps. If you get an erection, the device starts to slowly rip out your pubic hairs until you’re in enough pain to wake up. In addition to supposedly stopping nocturnal erections, the device is also a pretty hideous anti-masturbation gadget.

Mechanical Sheath

Euphemistically described as a “sanitary appliance” in the 1906 patent submission, Atlanta-based Raphael A. Sonn invented a gnarly-looking mechanical sheath. The language in the application is trademark Victorian, with masturbation referred to as “self-abuse.” This one looks extra horrendous. It’s basically a cage for your dick, fitted with clamps and grips tight enough to destroy your cock — not in a sexy way — if you try to remove it. It’s also a proto-chastity cage, as it can only be unlocked with a key.

Spermatic Truss

A slightly tamer entry, the 1876 Spermatic Truss is a device that straps your dick down to your leg, preventing erections. The early version looked a bit like wearing super tight underwear, but inventor Harvey A. Stephenson tinkered with his contraption over the years. There's scant evidence out there, but some historians claim that a later remodel of the truss came with a spiked pouch that your dick would jam into if you got an erection: a painful reminder of a boner’s moral depravity.