In the late ‘90s movie American Pie, Jennifer Coolidge, of course, plays the iconic role of Stifler’s mom, an almost mythical seductress who chain-smokes and drinks scotch — “aged 18 years, just how I like it.” In the film, she sparks a full-blown obsession amongst the teenage boys desperate to have sex with her. “I can’t believe a fine woman like this produced a guy like Stifler,” says Jim in awe, drooling at her photograph. “Dude,” exclaims John. “That chick’s a MILF — a Mom I’d Like to Fuck.”

In the real world, too, she sparked a flame that couldn’t be extinguished, transforming “MILFs” into a cultural powerhouse.

The MILF phenomenon has only grown over the last three decades, sparking countless porn films and horny pop-culture moments. Rachel Hunter caused boners worldwide when she ran through sprinklers in the 2003 video for the Fountains of Wayne classic “Stacy’s Mom,” and the Cock Destroyers — made up of the late, great Sophie Anderson and Rebecca More, one of porn’s most famous MILFs — went viral with their gloriously unhinged video callout for a gang bang.

Today, MILFs are a cornerstone of our cultural lexicon, and they’re definitely a mainstay in the porn world. Back in 2016, Asa Akira launched a crowdfunding campaign for her friend Dana DeArmond, entitled Project MILF. In the hilarious accompanying Q&A video, Akira says: “In porn, there’s only one way to become a MILF,” before a deadpan DeArmond quips: “To have huge tits.”

The campaign worked; in 2020, DeArmond scooped up an AVN award for MILF of the Year.

Beyond big tits, though, what actually makes a MILF? Is being a mom enough to qualify you? Does a MILF have a firm age range? Is there such a thing as Big MILF Energy, and if so, how do we define it?

There’s obviously no one better to answer these questions than MILFs themselves, so we reached out to three of the all-time greats: Cherie Deville, an industry vet with a prestigious Brazzers contract under her belt; Rachel Steele, CEO of Red MILF Productions; and Serenity Cox, who cemented herself as MILF royalty in the award-winning American MILF.

In your mind, what makes a MILF?
Cherie Deville: A MILF is someone who owns her sexuality with confidence, maturity and a wink. It’s not just about having kids (spoiler: I don’t!). It’s about that unapologetic energy that says, “I know what I like, and I’m very good at getting it.” MILF is more of a vibe than a résumé.

Serenity Cox: Prior to working on professional productions I’d never labeled myself as a MILF or used the term, mostly because of my own misconception of what it represented. It wasn’t until I was introduced to Vixen’s MILFY channel and their description of “strong, confident women at their sexual peak” that it hit me — it was about empowering mature women to enjoy and celebrate their sexuality. This is the message I’ve always tried to portray with my work, so if that’s what a MILF is, I love being a MILF!

Rachel Steele: A MILF to me is a woman with maturity and life experience. She’s been through several life stages, such as relationships, losses, gains and motherhood.

Does ‘MILF’ have an age range?
Deville: The age range is wildly flexible depending on who’s watching and who’s marketing. I’ve seen people get called MILFs in their late 20s, which, like, okay, and others still getting the title deep into their 50s. It’s more about the perceived contrast between youth and experience, not an actual birthday.

Steele: I hesitate to put an age or a number on women’s life experiences. However, it is hard to call somebody under the age of 30 a MILF in my mind.

Cox: As cliché as it sounds, I feel the term MILF is more a state of mind than a defined age. I don’t feel you go from one category to another based on a birth date. Everyone is on their own sexual journey; they’ll define MILF in their own unique way, and they’ll reach their MILF era at their own pace.

How would you define Big MILF Energy?
Steele: Again, Big MILF Energy is someone who has lots of life experiences, not always good experiences. Myself, I have gone from domestic violence in relationships and with family members to seeking therapy and rewriting my own story. I went from being a single mother struggling to put food on the table to the CEO of a very successful production company. I embody Big MILF Energy!

Cox: I would define Big MILF Energy as sexual confidence with an air of maturity and grace.

Deville: Big MILF Energy is the grown-woman version of IDGAF. It’s wisdom with cleavage. It’s being nurturing if you feel like it, dominant when you feel like it and never asking for permission. She’s hot, she’s in charge and she brought snacks — because she’s thoughtful and filthy.

Who are your favorite MILFs in porn?
Cox: I love cheering on all MILF performers and creators, but I will always have a soft spot for my fellow cast members of last year’s award-winning American MILF: Brandi Love, Christy Canyon, Phoenix Marie and Maitland Ward. It was like working with MILF royalty!

Steele: Red-xxx, Kendra Lust and Rachael Cavalli.

Deville: So many icons! I adore Julia Ann. She’s the blueprint. Alexis Fawx because she’s magnetic and hilarious. And honestly? Dani Daniels, even though she’s not labeled a MILF, but as a Housewife, she gives supreme energy. Oh, and obviously me. Let’s not be shy!