16 You’ve Got To Be Kidding Attempts At Portable Audio
Cameron Fetter
Published
9 hours ago
in
wtf
In the modern era, we have every single song in existence at our fingertips at any given moment. But it took a long time to get here.
Since the early 1900s, humanity has been trying and failing to figure out a way to carry songs around with us. From chunky ‘portable’ phonographs to misguided attempts at innovative MP3 players, we have a lot of audio mistakes under our belts.
Some of these you might be nostalgic for, others let’s just say not so much. Check them out and be glad you have Spotify.
- List View
- Player View
- Grid View
Advertisement
-
1. iPod Shuffle 3rd gen
In their constant quest for innovation at the cost of all else, Apple released this bizarre MP3 player in 2009. They removed literally all the controls and buttons, making it so this iPod could only be controlled by specialized headphone buttons. If you lost your special Apple headphones, well, you couldn’t control the Shuffle at all. -
2. Barbie phono
“Expressly designed for the thousands of fans of Barbie,” this portable phonograph was released in 1961. If there’s one thing that little girls who play with dolls love, it’s carrying around a briefcase and listening to music on vinyl. -
3. The Nifty Portable Phonograph
‘Portable’ must have meant something different in 1957. This ad for a portable phonograph proudly states that it’s a “special construction, specially braced and with strong, thickly plated hardware.” I mourn the rotator cuff of whoever carried this anvil around all day. -
4. MPMan F10
The first ever portable MP3 player, the MPMan F10 was released in 1998. A huge leap forward for the audio industry, but it could only hold 8 songs. That’s not even a full album. -
5. Audio Technica Sound Burger
Originally released in 1983, the only thing more ridiculous than this portable record player’s design is its name. But hey, if you want to walk around and listen to a record skip with every step you take, by all means, buy a Sound Burger. -
6. Walkman
The Sony Walkman released in 1979 and dominated the audio industry of the 80s. At the time it was great, but looking back it’s hard not to think about how much battery life it guzzled, and how you had to be some kind of psychic to skip to the next track. -
7. iPod Shuffle (first generation)
In 2005, Apple released the iPod Shuffle, which was a glorified USB flash drive with some buttons and a headphone jack. You couldn’t see what you were listening to or pick a song. Not ideal. -
8. Microsoft Zune 30
Microsoft’s competitor to the iPod faced an interesting widespread glitch that many have called the Zunepocalypse. At midnight on December 31, 2008, many first generation Zune 30 models froze and became completely inoperable. Microsoft said it was due to the way the devices handled a leap year. -
9. Sony WM W800 Walkman
A double cassette Walkman from 1986 with the ability to copy tapes. You could tell who had one because the pockets in all their pants would be ripped. -
10. Regency TR-1
The world’s first pocket radio, introduced in 1954. Compact and convenient, it also carried a $49.95 price tag. Which doesn’t sound that bad until you realize that that’s about $600 in 2025 money. -
11. Emerson Model 1232 Television-Radio
Released in 1956. If you wanted to listen to AM radio, this 20-pound portable television was not your best choice. But it could do it. -
12. The Peter Pan Alarm Clock Gramophone
The Peter Pan Alarm Clock Gramophone -
13. MiniDisc player
After CDs had already made a big splash, Sony released the MiniDisc player in 1992. It used a special format of disc called MiniDisc. People couldn’t find their favorite albums released on MiniDisc, and thus this one flopped hard. -
14. The Mikiphone
A pocket-sized phonograph invented in 1924. It was powered by hand-crank and could play 10-inch records. Sure, it could fit in your pocket, but I hope your other pocket is big enough for a bunch of 10-inch records. -
15. The first portable radio receiver
Created in 1923, this thing may have been innovative for its time, but looking back on it now, it’s not too appealing. The inventor gave it to his wife as a honeymoon gift. Enjoy lugging this thing around, honey! -
16. Edison P-1
An unsuccessful portable record player from 1929, created by Thomas Edison. Even people back in 1929 didn’t want this one. Just over three months later, Edison announced that he was ending all production of phonographs and records. It destroyed his business.
- REPLAY GALLERY
-
- 16 You’ve Got To Be Kidding Attempts At Portable Audio
- NEXT GALLERY
-
- The 20 Weirdest Street-Legal Vehicles
iPod Shuffle 3rd gen
In their constant quest for innovation at the cost of all else, Apple released this bizarre MP3 player in 2009. They removed literally all the controls and buttons, making it so this iPod could only be controlled by specialized headphone buttons. If you lost your special Apple headphones, well, you couldn’t control the Shuffle at all.
In their constant quest for innovation at the cost of all else, Apple released this bizarre MP3 player in 2009. They removed literally all the controls and buttons, making it so this iPod could only be controlled by specialized headphone buttons. If you lost your special Apple headphones, well, you couldn’t control the Shuffle at all.
16/16
1/16
0 Comments