You’re telling me they were up there for over 280 days and we just brought them back? No chance!

Recently, astronauts Suni Williams and Butch Wilmore returned to Earth after spending 286 days in space. Of course, the joy of this occasion was pretty short-lived. Dumbasses soon tried to politicize the event, creating such a stupid and unpleasant range of conspiracy theories about it that I’m sure the astronauts briefly wished they were back in space. “NASA didn’t know how to get them back” — bitch, how do you think they got there in the first place?

Naturally, there were also just some people who didn’t believe the story at all. Take, for example, this woman, who explains why she’s suspicious of the whole astronaut story. No, really — please take her.