My DUI was *also* predetermined by the Lord, thank you very much.

There’s a popular conversation amongst the religious about whether we, as human beings, have free will. The answer is obviously yes, but if you’ve got the special kind of brain poison that makes you think that jerking off will cast you into an afterlife filled with fire and demons, I’d imagine that “God has determined everything” is a pretty comforting thought.

Of course, if you extend this idea to its logical conclusion, it can put you in the position of having to defend some incredibly stupid things. For example, this Boomer tried to make the argument that, if she killed everyone by filling their car with gas and setting it alight, it wouldn’t be her fault — because that’s just how Jesus choreographed things.

Oh, in that case, then it’s totally fine!